Mr. Carpet

Ms. Joy,

Last month, I got to attend a friend’s movie premiere in NY. I’m a working actor in the city and I mostly do character work. When my friend flew in for his premiere, he invited me to tag along. Truth be told, tagging along was all I planned to do. My boy had other plans and pulled me onto the red carpet. It was my first red carpet. I wasn’t prepared but I manned up and took my photos. That went really well.

The next part went really wrong. I’ve never done an interview and when I found myself in front of a camera crew, I froze. I stuttered. I sounded completely stupid. I stumbled over the name of my current show. I forgot to even mention the movie I just did opposite some big names.

I’m bruised but I’m not giving up. Now that I’ve done a red carpet, I want to do more. Do you have a quick tip on how I can be better prepared for the next one?

―Barely Carpet Burned in Brooklyn

Mr. Carpet,

I like your attitude! Shake it off! The great thing about the experience you just had is that you now know what to expect. It’s like riding a rollercoaster. You look at it with one impression. You feel really nervous the first time because you don’t know what’s coming. Once you get past the first ride, you can ride it again and feel less fear because you’ve gained familiarity. Use this to your advantage and learn your lines before you go on the carpet.

You don’t strike me as the type of guy who auditions without knowing the lines. Red carpets work the same way. Memorize your key points: the names of current work, the names of key colleagues you acted opposite of, what studios are involved (if any), where folks can see your work, and so on. Know these points well enough to be natural, conversational and personable while communicating them. Practice them in your mind and aloud.

Also take time to learn about the event you’re attending and have fun buzz phrases ready in relation to it. This may sound like a no-brainer, but I once saw someone attend a charity event and space about the name of the foundation or why they were there. That kind of thing can make you look dumb or like a publicity hound. Either case should be avoided.

Train yourself for this the way you train yourself for your craft and you should do just fine.

Keep rising!

Joy

Ms. Real Deal

Ms. Joy,

This is so crazy I don’t know where to begin. I have some crazy person online pretending to be me. I’m a singer/songwriter/dj with a lot of famous friends. I travel and gig internationally. I do photo shoots for magazines and TV interviews where I can. I’m working extremely hard for everything I’m accomplishing.

Like everyone else on the planet, I use Facebook and Twitter, but I have both pages protected. I didn’t want everyone to have access to me. I really just want both sites to be for my friends, family, and close supporters.

About 3 weeks ago, someone got a Facebook page under my name, well, sort of. They spelled my first name wrong but the profile picture they’re using is from my bio on my website. They’re sending Facebook friend requests and emails to my celebrity friends, claiming to be me and saying that I lost their cell number. Now this person is on Twitter, too!

I don’t know what they want. Is this an attempt to destroy my reputation? Are they trying to cipher off my career? I’ve heard about this sort of thing before and people stealing other people’s identities to get gigs overseas. How can I protect my name and my work from this craziness?

― The Real Deal

Ms. Real Deal,

Identity theft and cyber-impersonation really gets me riled up. In the south, we describe this level of anger as being .38 hot! The problem is neither legislature nor the law have caught up with this type of foolishness. Once you put something online, you lose a lot of control about what people do with that material. Photos, music, content, and everything else you can imagine is constantly stolen online. There are some steps you can take to protect your reputation, but control will always be an issue. A method you can implement is what I call the Triple A technique: Assess, Acquire, and Assert.

First, you need to examine the situation and figure out how insidious the impersonation is. Do a Google and Bing search and see if your name is popping up in weird places or attached to events you know nothing about. See if the liar has a website under your name or is strictly on social media. If they got a website, you could try to acquire their true contact information through it. If they are only on social media, you’ll have to alert the proper contacts at those sites about their false representation.

Once you’re done assessing the problem, you can start to acquire what you need to regain as much control as you can. One thing you might want to get is an attorney (another “A” word) but, meanwhile, you can start to acquire variations on your name or brands. Go to namechk.com, a free online resource that lets you get what usernames are available on all social media sites from stumbleupon to youtube. Get the various versions of your username that are still available so no one can easily name-jack you.

Since your predator has already gotten a fake and misspelled username on Twitter and Facebook, see if you can acquire the Google Adwords for that misspelled name. Google Adwords let you pay per click. You can have the Adwords come up every time someone searches that misspelled name and have the ad direct them to you instead. All of this acquisition- the usernames and adwords- can be done within an hour.

Lastly, you need to assert that you are the real deal and that the other person is a perpetrator. I advise you to acquire before you assert because you never want to forewarn an impostor that you’re coming for them. Those were the scenes that I always hated in Lifetime movies. Don’t show your hand before you assert.

Once you assert, go full steam ahead! Have your attorney send cease and desist letters to the culprit and contact the appropriate social media executives. Alert your friends and supporters through private communication such as email or by phone that an impostor is on the loose. Tell them exactly what usernames your impersonator is using so that they know not to communicate with the liar.

If the impostor has fraudulently attached you to events or placed your name in weird associations, contact the appropriate people concerned and clarify the situation.

You may never gain total control again, but these steps will help you diffuse some of the lies.

Keep rising!

Joy

Ms. Say What?

Hi Ms. Joy,

My first interview went all wrong. I don’t know what happened. The reporter and I got along incredibly and we talked for hours about my life and my background. We also talked about funny, everyday life stuff and shared stories with each other. I was so relaxed and thought I did great but when I got the interview all my quotes were wrong and the things I thought were the most important got completely left out. What did I do?

– Ms. Say What? in San Francisco

Ms. Say What,

What happened to you can happen to anyone. It sounds like you said too much and got off subject. Often, we think that the most important thing to know for an interview is how to be verbose but, a lot of times the real knowledge is in knowing when to stop talking. While you’re being chatty and personable, you want to stick to the facts, drive your points home and not get misquoted.

It’s easy to get relaxed, distracted, and start giving the reporter too much background. By the time you finish, the article is about the time you wrecked the family car on prom night instead of your forthcoming project. It’s easier to stay on point if you give yourself a game plan in the form of a Fact Sheet.

Fact Sheets are simple. They are one page of bullet pointed facts (hence, fact sheet, ahem) that are concise and easy to read. Each fact should be one sentence in length. Keep it simple to memorize so you can recall these points quickly and effortlessly. This will help you stay on subject even if your interviewer wanders off.

Plus, you can always send the fact sheet to the journalist when you confirm your interview. This will help them know exactly what the key messages are and help them shape the story. They may even ask you questions straight off the fact sheet. That practically makes it a cheat sheet.

Outline the facts, memorize them and stick to them. Hopefully you won’t find yourself reading another article about YOU wondering, “Did I say that?”

Keep rising!

Joy

The TIP Sheet: Bad Press Shouldn't Get Worse

Whether you're a small business owner, a rising actor, or a city councilperson, the thought of bad press can completely freak a person out. When individuals feel threatened by bad press, they want to defend themselves, even when they haven’t been accused of actual wrongdoing. Over-reacting and being overly defensive are the worst moves to make and prove an absence of control.

The closed mouth catches no feet. So when a media crisis happens, be as non-reactive as possible. Breathe, focus, assess, and take real control.

Ask three questions:
1. Has my reputation or career been misrepresented by a biased article?
2. Will this press threaten my business success and consumer base?
3. Is reaction, like an interview or public statement, truly necessary?

If the spotlight isn’t actually focused on you, keep it off. Don’t solicit interviews or issue a press release. Instead, prepare short concise responses to serve as statements to the media as needed. Share these responses with your employees (and I mean all your employees), family members, representatives and anyone else who could approached for a statement so that everyone knows what should and shouldn’t be said.

Respond to direct media inquiries as quickly and personally as possible. Keep the answers contained and don’t get too conversational or chatty. Maintain a cool head and strive to not let the situation go from bad to worse.